Readers from the US may not know what a Christmas cracker (or bonbon) is, so have a quick read here if you are confused. In any event, here is a list, in no particular order, of some of the terrible jokes that came out of my family’s Christmas lunch crackers this year:

• Q: Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
  A: It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
• Q: What two fish are needed to make a shoe?
  A: A sole and an eel
• Q: Why did the boy blush when he opened the fridge?
  A: He saw the salad dressing.
• Q: How can you tell which spiders are the trendiest?
  A: They have their own websites.
• Q: What button won’t you find in a tailor’s shop?
  A: A belly button.
• Q: What do you get when you cross a lighthouse and a chicken coop?
  A: Beacon and eggs.

Bah-dum cha!